I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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