can u get pink eye on your cock?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
