TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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