he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
