Michael Bay diarrhea
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
