I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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