I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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