The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
