It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
