We named our party play list daddy issues
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize