Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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