Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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