I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Please, let me fuck your mom
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize