we have pet lesbian snakes
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
