A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
