Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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