my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
It was confusing and full of hummus
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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