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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
