bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
