He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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