so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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