i think my tv is drunk
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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