if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
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if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
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I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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