I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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