..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
