Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
