just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
