you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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