You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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