The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
