He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
