Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Randomize
