yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
