and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
