Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
ok first of all what the fuck
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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