soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
