sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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