Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
