So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
