Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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