you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
