i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
