Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Randomize
