You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
