he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
