i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
