You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
