Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...