I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
