Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
