I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
