i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
i out mim tonsoeep
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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