Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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