Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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