You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
no you cant smoke seaweed
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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