Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Randomize
