His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
My dick has a subreddit
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban