Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(651): View more from Minnesota

I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......

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(541): View more from Oregon

I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009

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(269): View more from Michigan

I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.

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25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Read it at the TFLN blog
(914): View more from New York

my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"

(1-919): View more from North Carolina

"bouncy castle"

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(661): View more from California

You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.

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(303): View more from Colorado

well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.

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