My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes