People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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