i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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