therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Randomize
